Does the idea of talking to your children about sex make it trivial? Do not be afraid: this expert guide can help you do it correctly.
Oh, the terrible conversation about sex, whether motivated by questions from your endless child (“Mom, where do the kids come from?”) Or an uncomfortable moment on TV (“What does this child do to that? girl? “), Nothing makes Parents are very embarrassed to talk about birds and bees with their children.
In fact, the conversation leaves some parents connected to their own language. They ignore the most important points of the conversation or skip chatting together. A recent survey of more than 1,000 adults conducted by the Family Planning Foundation and the Center for Adolescent Health and Family Health at the University of New York found that approximately 82% of parents spoke with their teens about the sex However, the survey also identified some potentially serious gaps. For example, although 94 percent of parents said they thought they were influencing whether their children were using contraception, only 60 percent said they had talked with their children about it.
But the clock may be running. “Parents do not want to think about children who have sex, but some children have sex now in high school, and parents do not even know what’s going on,” says Lauren Mitchell, Ph.D., a certified psychologist. by the board.
What is the appropriate age for a conversation? According to Carol Clarke, Ph.D., board-certified sex therapy specialist, there’s nothing like starting to talk about sex too early. “When children are young, they feel happy when they touch themselves, this happens five years ago, and they will ask questions.” One of the problems is that it worries us because we see that only our genitals have sexual relations, we do not see them as parts of our body.
Ideally, there should not be a sexual conversation, but there should be multiple conversations throughout the child’s life, adds Dr. Clark.
These expert tips can guarantee that it is a valuable experience for both.
Talk With Young Children About Sex.
Discuss sexual health as a natural part of life. If children learn the names of their body parts from birth (no euphemisms), they will pave the way for open and natural discussions since then, says Dr. Mitchell.
Use the TV as in an icebreaker. Ideally, parents should present the topic of sex naturally and over time, says Clark. Television programs can be used as a starting point; In fact, the Department of Children, Schools and Families of the United Kingdom (DCSF) has recently published a report in which it urges parents to take advantage of the dramatic scenes on the screen that appear to discuss what happens in the program. For example, if couples make love on television, ask your child if any of your friends talk about sex at school.
Prepare your children for puberty. When children enter puberty, they may begin to notice changes in their bodies. Most girls are between 12 and 13 years old (but some have them at an early age or even at 16) and children tend to start puberty around 11 or 12 years old. KidsHealth.org, part of the Tiger Children’s Center, recommends that parents not wait until their child’s body begins to change to talk about puberty. Instead, the site suggests informing children about physical and emotional changes at the age of eight.
Be prepared You do not have to have sex in all discussions, but you should always be prepared to answer any questions your child asks.
Talk To Teenagers And Teenagers About Sex
Start chatting before it’s too late. The DCSF report indicates that children are more receptive to gender issues between the ages of 11 and 14, and then waiting may be too late if you want to influence their views.
Do not be judgment. Ask your children questions to know how much they know. Do not give them sermons, but ask them to express their feelings about certain topics (for example, do they feel that a child in school is moving too fast?). “If I use” I Feel “, it will look less like a conference,” says Clark.
Make sure you have all the attention. Talk at a time when you know that your teen is paying attention; Make “no television, no Internet, no text messages” at the time of day.
Be frank about difficult issues. From television shows to BFF, your child can have many conflicting views about teen sex, abstinence and birth control. But there is a very important point that she must listen to: Mitchell tells you.
Do not give TMI. It may be tempting to share your own experiences when you are young, but Clark advises against doing so. Your teenager needs a father, not another friend.